How Much is Too Much?
Last night I bounded cheerfully onto the sofa while my husband was watching the Canucks - Black Hawks game. The following conversation ensued:
Me: How much is too much underwear?
He: Huh?
Me: How many pairs of underwear should one person have?
He: Whaddya mean?
Me: I mean how much is too much? How many pairs of underwear does one need?
He thinks for a minute and says with authority.
He: Fourteen.
Me: Fourteen pairs of underwear.
He (with a confident nod): Fourteen.
Me: You have twenty nine.
He looks incredulous and starts laughing.
Me: You have twenty nine pairs of underwear.
He, laughing: I do NOT!
Me: You do so! I counted them today. There was so many on the dryer that I decided to count all of your underwear to see how many you had. You have twenty nine pairs. I tell ya it killed me today not writing on Facebook "My husband has twenty nine pairs of underwear and I have ten."
He: Well, I have some just for the gym and there's the ones I just wear to bed in the summer...you know, the plaid ones.
Me: Oh! I didn't count those ones. I didn't see the boxers. You've got about four pair of those, so that makes thirty three....thirty four if you count the pair you're wearing.
He: Did you count the two new pair I bought today?
Me after closing gaping mouth: You did NOT!
He: I did! I couldn't find any today so I bought a couple.
Me: Couldn't find any??!!! Did you not look in your drawer???? There's a tonne in there. I'm sure you've still got some from Huntsville*. Those blue Y-fronts that you probably bought at Bi-Way.
He, laughing: Yeah, I did. I threw them out tonight.
Me: Huh. That makes me feel kinda sad.
He smiles.
Me: I bet you have 100 pairs of socks too, no exaggeration. I am quite confident in saying you have at least 100 pairs of socks.
He: I do not!
But the sheepish look on his face says that after the underwear count, he thinks it just might be true.
He: Some of them have sentimental value! There's the pair Kirk and Lesley** gave me for Christmas.
Me: Kirk and Lesley gave you a Christmas present?
He: You got one too...remember when we were in White Rock that year?
Me: Oh yeah. Well Kirk and Lesley didn't give you your underwear. Why don't you get rid of a few of the rattier ones?
His eyes are on the hockey game.
Me: Tomorrow I'm going to pile them up on your dresser and take a picture of all of them. Seriously. I am. And then I'm going to post about it on my blog.
He's pretending not to listen.
Me: ...can I? Please?
He, eyes still on the screen: Ok, but I want an accurate count this time.
Post script via the email my husband sent me after he read the blog post:
I forgot to mention that there are 2 pairs of travel underwear in the
drawer as well. I also have a few pairs that are a little small that I
am keeping to wear when I have lost 10 pounds, you know, like women who
keep their jeans from high school or university or from before having
kids.
_____________________________________
Me: How much is too much underwear?
He: Huh?
Me: How many pairs of underwear should one person have?
He: Whaddya mean?
Me: I mean how much is too much? How many pairs of underwear does one need?
He thinks for a minute and says with authority.
He: Fourteen.
Me: Fourteen pairs of underwear.
He (with a confident nod): Fourteen.
Me: You have twenty nine.
He looks incredulous and starts laughing.
Me: You have twenty nine pairs of underwear.
He, laughing: I do NOT!
Me: You do so! I counted them today. There was so many on the dryer that I decided to count all of your underwear to see how many you had. You have twenty nine pairs. I tell ya it killed me today not writing on Facebook "My husband has twenty nine pairs of underwear and I have ten."
He: Well, I have some just for the gym and there's the ones I just wear to bed in the summer...you know, the plaid ones.
Me: Oh! I didn't count those ones. I didn't see the boxers. You've got about four pair of those, so that makes thirty three....thirty four if you count the pair you're wearing.
He: Did you count the two new pair I bought today?
Me after closing gaping mouth: You did NOT!
He: I did! I couldn't find any today so I bought a couple.
Me: Couldn't find any??!!! Did you not look in your drawer???? There's a tonne in there. I'm sure you've still got some from Huntsville*. Those blue Y-fronts that you probably bought at Bi-Way.
He, laughing: Yeah, I did. I threw them out tonight.
Me: Huh. That makes me feel kinda sad.
He smiles.
Me: I bet you have 100 pairs of socks too, no exaggeration. I am quite confident in saying you have at least 100 pairs of socks.
He: I do not!
But the sheepish look on his face says that after the underwear count, he thinks it just might be true.
He: Some of them have sentimental value! There's the pair Kirk and Lesley** gave me for Christmas.
Me: Kirk and Lesley gave you a Christmas present?
He: You got one too...remember when we were in White Rock that year?
Me: Oh yeah. Well Kirk and Lesley didn't give you your underwear. Why don't you get rid of a few of the rattier ones?
His eyes are on the hockey game.
Me: Tomorrow I'm going to pile them up on your dresser and take a picture of all of them. Seriously. I am. And then I'm going to post about it on my blog.
He's pretending not to listen.
Me: ...can I? Please?
He, eyes still on the screen: Ok, but I want an accurate count this time.
 |
Post script via the email my husband sent me after he read the blog post:
I forgot to mention that there are 2 pairs of travel underwear in the
drawer as well. I also have a few pairs that are a little small that I
am keeping to wear when I have lost 10 pounds, you know, like women who
keep their jeans from high school or university or from before having
kids.
_____________________________________
*We lived in Huntsville, Ontario from 1986 to 1990.
** Best ever Vancouver Canuck goalie Kirk McLean and the awesome woman that was his wife.
Still laughing...
ReplyDeletethat was a fun one!
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