This is Not the Paolo I Was Promised

Who remembers the episodes of Friends with Paolo?  That show single handedly turned "Paolo" into a synonym for handsome-romatic-Italian-man.  As so often is the case however, reality is not the same as television (no matter what Mark Burnett says).

Here's a transcription of this morning's online "chat" with Paolo on Telus (a Canadian Phone, Internet and Cable provider).  Though Telus cannot send your bill to your email address due to issues of confidentiality, they are supposed to send you a month reminder to view your bill online.  I hadn't realized this and was going to the website to view my ebill once a month.  With my bad memory, this wasn't working for me.  I "chatted" with Karen who told me I could change my profile to receive the email reminder and she sent me on to Paolo to work that out.  Here's what transpired:

7:15:53 AM PDT : Paolo: Thank you Suzan! Your account PIN is (**** ). May I know if you are trying to register your account at

 7:17:10 AM PDT : Suzan: I am already registered. I pay my bill by going to the website, but I am not getting a reminder in my email box. That's what I'm trying to do, receive an email reminder.

 7:18:18 AM PDT : Paolo: That's right the account is already registered under username: ****  May I know the content of that email? And do you have access to your ebilling account?

 7:20:51 AM PDT : Suzan: I'm not sure what you mean. I was told I could change my profile to receive an email reminder that my bill is available to be viewed. I am able to access my ebill, however I have to keep going to the site to see if the bill is ready yet. I want a reminder to tell me the bill is ready to be viewed/paid. I was told if I registered for ebilling that would work. I see no where to register for ebilling [on my profile].

 7:22:23 AM PDT : Paolo: As per checking on your account your ebilling is already activated and every 7th of the month you'll received an email. Reminding you that your ebill is ready for viewing.

 7:23:22 AM PDT : Suzan: Are you saying you have made the change? Or is it already there. I have never received a reminder email. Is it being sent to ****

 7:24:49 AM PDT : Paolo: It's already setup from the beginning and Yes you'll received it at ****

 7:24:56 AM PDT : Paolo: Aside from those concerns, would there be anything else?

 7:25:39 AM PDT : Suzan: It was not set up from the beginning because in the almost two years since I have been with Telus, I have never received and email. It is not working so something must need to be changed.

 7:26:08 AM PDT : Paolo: Do you want to check it on your end?

 7:26:18 AM PDT : Suzan: What do you mean?

 7:26:43 AM PDT : Paolo: Do you want to make sure that your already enrolled for monthly ebilling?

[I AM enrolled for monthly ebilling, if I wasn't I'd be receiving my bill in the mail, so I was getting pretty frustrated at this point].

 7:29:43 AM PDT : Suzan: You are not getting what I am saying. I am getting extremely frustrated. I can see my ebill but I have NEVER in 2 years received an email. Something is NOT working.

[long pause and I take the time to look at my open ebill infront of me on my monitor]

 7:30:57 AM PDT : Suzan: It says my account is active on the ebill.

 7:31:23 AM PDT : Paolo: Do you have access to this email ****

 7:31:31 AM PDT : Suzan: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 7:31:38 AM PDT : Paolo: OK

 7:31:47 AM PDT : Suzan: I asked you if it was being sent to **** and you said it was.

 7:32:35 AM PDT : Paolo: Yes it was being sent to that email address.

 7:32:50 AM PDT : Suzan: **** was changed to ***** when we switched to Telus and I was told that everything would be switched including billing.

[long pause]

 7:33:32 AM PDT : Suzan: ITS NOT BEING SENT TO *****  BECAUSE I AM NOT RECEIVING IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[long pause]

 7:34:06 AM PDT : Suzan: Am I actually dealing with a real person here?

[long pause and then a window that says “Do you want to continue this session?”]

 7:38:02 AM PDT : Suzan: I want my question answered.

 7:38:50 AM PDT : Paolo: Can I have your TELUS Ebilling username and password, Let's try to refresh your ebilling

 7:39:00 AM PDT : Suzan: I want my question answered

 7:39:28 AM PDT : Paolo: I'm uncertain why you are not getting your ebilling statement because directly your enroll you suppose to get reminder monthly.

[I found it interesting that when I questioned it's human-ness it made grammatical errors as if to indicate it was]

 7:39:33 AM PDT : Suzan: Are you a person or a computer program.

 7:40:51 AM PDT : Paolo: I'm uncertain why you are not getting your ebilling statement because directly your enroll you suppose to get reminder monthly.

Suzan: I will be switching to ****** telephone, tv and internet as soon as possible unless you answer whether or not you are a person or a computer.

 7:43:20 AM PDT : Paolo: Sorry but It's not necessary for me to answer that particular question of yours.

Suzan: Since you will not answer I will be change to ****** or some other service provider as soon as possible. I would say the answer is you are not a person and you have wasted my time.

 7:45:51 AM PDT : Paolo: OK


  1. I mean not to laugh my butt off at your situation but, misery loves company. Glad to see I'm not the only one that can't talk to machines:-)

    1. Glad it made you laugh. :) Now that I'm not living it, I can laugh too!


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